When’s the last time you drop kicked yourself?

Today?  Yesterday?  Last week?

It happens a lot for most of us.  We are our own worst critic.

I did it this last weekend.  I had a weekend full of celebrations, and at the very last minute…WHUMPH!

Cue thought bubble…”I can’t believe I said [...]]]>

When’s the last time you drop kicked yourself?

Today?  Yesterday?  Last week?

It happens a lot for most of us.  We are our own worst critic.

I did it this last weekend.  I had a weekend full of celebrations, and at the very last minute…WHUMPH!

Cue thought bubble…”I can’t believe I said that!” 

That’s the one that came out shortly after I said THAT.  That thought bubble drop kicked me most of the evening, and on into the night.

The thing is, everyone that was around me when I said THAT probably didn’t even hear what I made up they heard, and if they did, they likely forgot all about it within the next few minutes.  Something far more important like getting another coffee, calculating their parking fee, or the hungry grumble in their tummy, totally took over their thought waves.

We go through life championing for other people, celebrating their ups, and lovingly dusting them off when they are down.  We kiss their boo boos, wipe away their tears, list what’s great about them, and yet, when it comes to being our own best supporter, instead of a pat on the back we get a glove to the chops.

What do you do when your child or your best friend bumps up against one of these situations?  How do you treat them?  What do you give them to help them through?

How would your life change if you gave that same thing to you?  What would your life look like if you were your own best friend?

Thankfully, I only spent one evening drop kicking myself.  Once I gave myself the gift of a good night’s sleep, watched a happy movie, and went over what DID go great over that previous day, I started smiling at myself instead.  What I said wasn’t really that bad.  I just shared that I can use support and kind reminders from time to time, just like everyone else.  Who knows.  Maybe by sharing this, someone else put down their gloves and stopped the body shots.

Besides, everyone else is cheering you on.  You may as well join in the fun.

Maybe then you’ll notice that you totally rock!

Dream BIG!

Velma Gallant
The Queen of JOY!

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It can show up in pricing our services too low. 

“No one will hire me at THAT price, so I’ll price it down here.  I need income…any income.”

It can show up in pricing our services too high as well. 

“I’m not going to get [...]]]> Scarcity shows up in many forms. 

It can show up in pricing our services too low. 

“No one will hire me at THAT price, so I’ll price it down here.  I need income…any income.”

It can show up in pricing our services too high as well. 

“I’m not going to get very many customers, so I better keep the price up there so I get enough income.”

Sometimes we keep the price up there to prove we are not the value on our price sheet.

Scarcity may have us avoid sharing our gifts at all.

What IS going on?  What is Scarcity?

People most often refer to it as “Lack Thinking”, which is a fairly accurate description.  I want to offer you one more perspective, which is something I’ve observed in myself, in my clients, and in our culture.

Scarcity is a Fear of owning our gifts and value. 

“I am enough.”

We are afraid of the consequences we have made up. 

“What if I put myself out there and no one hires me?  I’ll be so embarrassed!”

We are afraid of an illusion.

The way through Scarcity is Courage.

Have the courage to begin offering your talents and gifts, whether through services or creations.

Have the courage to put yourself out there…hang out your “Open for Business” sign.

Have the courage to receive equal value for your products or services.

Have the courage to see value in others’ products and services. 

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” ~ Lao Tzu

What’s one thing you can do to begin offering your talents and gifts to the world?

Remember a moment when you did have courage, and you did make it through an experience…any experience.  Remember that feeling.  Bring it with you into this journey.

You ARE enough, and the world needs you, your talents and gifts.

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If you stop, you stay in.  You can hide your eyes and cover your ears.  It won’t change a thing.  You’re in.

You can turn around and go back.  You’ll end up where you started.  You’ll [...]]]> It doesn’t matter what’s going on in your life, this is true.  The only way out is through.

If you stop, you stay in.  You can hide your eyes and cover your ears.  It won’t change a thing.  You’re in.

You can turn around and go back.  You’ll end up where you started.  You’ll still need to go through, and now it will take longer to get there.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your life, events happen.  Events happen to everyone. 

What’s different? Why do some seem happy anyway? How do they do it?

They know that the only way out is through.

They know that how they perceive everything makes the difference.

An event takes your money, but brings your family closer together.  Do you label this as good or bad?

An event causes you to take time off from work, but you’ve hurt yourself physically.  Do you label this as good or bad?

Each situation has two (or more) ways of looking at it.  Which do you choose?  One that makes you feel good, or one that makes you feel bad?

Which way of looking at it gives you energy, and which one drains your energy?

Which way of looking at it gets you through, and which one holds you back?

The only way out is through, and the way through is by you choosing the perspective that gives you the energy to make it.

Dream BIG!

Velma Gallant
The Queen of JOY!

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I’m feeling those statements now, but it wasn’t that long ago when the top of the mountain seemed unreachable.

I’ve been through enough stressful situations to know that the belief that the mountain is unreachable is not true.  I [...]]]> I can see it!  I can see the top of the Mountain!  I’m almost there!

I’m feeling those statements now, but it wasn’t that long ago when the top of the mountain seemed unreachable.

I’ve been through enough stressful situations to know that the belief that the mountain is unreachable is not true.  I always reach the top, though not always quickly.  Some mountains took years to climb.

I’m sure you’ve had those too.  I’ve also learned over the years that I am never alone.  There is always someone who has gone before me, and there are others who will follow.

Each mountain gives something different.

Sometimes it’s the realization that it wasn’t a mountain after all.  It was just a hill.  It was me that was feeling small.

Other times the mountain was big, and along with a bigger mountain came bigger gifts.  Sometimes it’s the celebration and acknowledgement of overcoming something big.  Most times it’s noticing huge personal growth, and becoming bigger than the mountain.

For me, with this experience, it was noticing how small I was making myself, plus some growing as well.  My mountain became small quickly!

If you’re in a stressful situation now, check in. 

Are you allowing yourself to feel smaller than you truly are? 

Where are you ready to grow? 

What shifts or steps are you willing to take to allow yourself to expand beyond this situation?

Are there things you are hanging onto that are no longer serving you?

How can you support yourself in the mean time, while things are shifting?

Stressful Situations are simply times of change that we either didn’t expect, or we were avoiding.

The stress during these Transitional Times can be lowered by moving with the change rather than pushing against the change.

If something’s not working, there’s usually a good reason for it.  You may be holding onto something that is not serving anymore.  You may be avoiding moving in a direction that would be of valuable. 

Either way, it’s clear that a change needs to happen.

You get to choose.  Fight Change or Welcome Change.

Time.

Most of the time it seems like there’s not enough of it.

We try to squeeze more stuff into the time we have, and then wonder why stress seems to be a normal part of our daily lives.

There’s more [...]]]>

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ~ Mohandas K. Gandhi

Time.

Most of the time it seems like there’s not enough of it.

We try to squeeze more stuff into the time we have, and then wonder why stress seems to be a normal part of our daily lives.

There’s more work at our jobs than we have hours there.  Many have taken on two, three and even four jobs.  Sometimes it’s to make ends meet, but other times it’s to pay for those things that we think will finally bring us happiness.

Homes have two and three cars.  Kids are enrolled in sports and other activities that seem to be going up and up in price.

We run faster and faster after the carrot.  No matter how hard or fast we run, that carrot stays out there in front of us.  If we happen to get a nibble of the carrot that taste is never enough. 

Exhaustion sets in.  The body breaks down.  The emotions break down.

And from this weakened state, we add one more thing to our already full buckets thinking this will make things all better.

It won’t.   And getting a bigger bucket won’t work either.  The burden will still be just as heavy, and you’ll likely add more thinking that it’s OK because you have a bigger bucket.

We are spending less time with our loved ones.  We are spending less time with ourselves.  We stop eating quality food because we don’t have time for it.  Eating highly processed food is easier and quicker.  It doesn’t take as much time to prepare, which we think is good because it’s like taking something out of the bucket.

We don’t walk or ride a bike anywhere because it takes too much time.  Yet there are those who drive their car to a gym they’ve paid good cash for just to walk on a tread mill.

It seems to me that the world is just a little bit insane.

What if we walked with our family for exercise, and enjoy some conversation while we’re at it? 

What if we cared for a garden? We’d supplement our food bill with “real” food.  We’d get exercise, and experience mindfulness.

What if there was another way to get your carrot without running on the treadmill you paid to use, carrying heavy buckets, and neglecting your spirit, body and mind?

There is.

The first thing is to make sure that the carrot you’re chasing is really what you are looking for.

All too often the carrot is something we’ve been told we want.  Joe next door has one, and he looks happy.  Jane on TV has one, and she looks happy.

That guy over there is a doctor, and look at all the stuff he has.  He must be happy.

Notice, though, that each thing we strive for is ultimately to create happiness?

Perhaps the carrot should be Happiness.

Is running on a treadmill you paid someone else to use, carrying heavy buckets filled with activities that do not fulfil your soul and weigh heavily on your body and emotions making you happy?

If you answered yes to this, great.  I’m truly happy you found your happiness.

If you answered no to this, maybe it’s time to make some changes.

If you agree, the next question becomes, “what would make me happy?”

If you can’t answer that right away, maybe you can answer “what is not making me happy?”

Lightening the load and releasing little bits of unhappiness creates the opening to see what would make you happy.

What if you only filled your bucket with things that made you happy?  I’ll bet that bucket would be easy to carry. And if you jump off the treadmill and go for a walk out in the world you’ll likely find more happy things to put in your bucket too!

Walking and exploring the world with your buckets full of happiness. 

Now that sounds like a LIFE!

I’m in!  Are you?

***

Velma Gallant, The Queen of JOY! is an author, speaker, teacher, and healer.  As the host of “Welcome Changes Radio, she has interviewed over 100 personal growth and development experts.  Between growing up, raising a family, and building her business, she’s come to the conclusion that life is a continuous series of events and transitions.  There were times when she felt lost, broken, and confused, until she realized she wasn’t defined by these events and transitions.  Velma has stopped defining herself by what she does and the events of her life, and invites you to do the same!  JOY comes from within, and has been there all along, waiting to be rediscovered.

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