You’re walking down a path.  Along this path there are stones of all shapes and sizes.  As you walk along, some stones are in the middle of your path, and others are on the sides.

The ones on your path are those events of your day.  They are easy to pick up.  [...]]]>

You’re walking down a path.  Along this path there are stones of all shapes and sizes.  As you walk along, some stones are in the middle of your path, and others are on the sides.

The ones on your path are those events of your day.  They are easy to pick up.  They are right there.

The ones on the side of the path are the ones you’d have to consciously choose to walk over and pick them up.

As you walk along your path, and you “bump into” the stones on the path, you are faced with a choice.  Pick them up, walk around them, or step over them.  These are the obvious choices.  Some of those big ones, though, are tougher.  Stepping over them isn’t quite as easy.  It’s a long walk around them.  Picking them up seems to be the choice.

The big ones, for whatever reason, are almost always easy to pick up.  The tough part is putting that big one down.  You then choose to walk with it.  Those big ones are heavy!  It tires you out!  And yet you cannot put it down.  By the end of your day, you’re tired.

Funny thing about this, you again, for whatever reason, choose to hang onto that big stone, and take it to bed with you.  It’s pretty tough to sleep with this big stone.  It’s a bed hog, and often lays right on your chest.  Sometimes it even makes it tough to breathe.  By the next morning you’re absolutely exhausted.

Sometimes as you walk down the path, you pick up more than one big stone.  There’s a lot going on.  The burden is even heavier, but you cannot put them down.

Days and nights of carrying around these stones begins to take it’s toll on you.  Your body and mind are tired, and you seem to have disconnected from your Spirit.

Years of carrying around you have forgotten what it’s like to walk around without stones, and think this must be normal.  You don’t look like you used to.  You don’t feel like you seem to remember feeling.  Your body doesn’t function the way it used to either.  You’ve aged.  Some dis-ease has begun to set in.

This isn’t what you signed up for.  This isn’t what life is supposed to be about.  At least, that’s what you’ve heard…somewhere.

That’s the Worry Path.  We’ve all walked along it at some point.

Here’s the thing.  It’s not really the Worry Path.  It’s just a Path, and those Stones are just Thoughts.

Remember the stones along the side of the path?  They were the ones you would have to consciously walk over to in order to pick them up.  Those ones are a little out of the way, but they’re special.

They’re light.  You can fill up your arms with them, and walk without effort.  Plus, when you walk over to them, sometimes you see the way around the big ones in the middle of the path.  Even better, when you fill your arms with them, you don’t have any room to pick up the big ones either.

By the end of the day, when you have filled your arms with the small ones on the side of the road, you still feel fine.  When you go to bed, everything is okay too.  They’re easy to put down, and are actually kind of soft and squishy.  They make good pillows!  You can rest your head on them, and fall asleep right away.  When you wake up, you’re refreshed.

Some of these small squishy stones are still there in the morning, but most of them have disappeared and made their way back onto the side of the road again, ready for you to notice them, walk over, and pick them up.  They’re always there on the side of the road, just waiting patiently for you.

Some days, it almost seems like they’re bouncing on the side of the road trying to get your attention—especially then they’re a particularly big stone in the middle of the road.  It’s almost like they’re hoping you’ll notice them so they can point out the way around the big rock.

But you don’t always notice.  Sometimes you forget they’re there, and all you notice is the big stones.  You bend down and pick it up.  It’s in the way.

You’ve found the Worry Path again.

***

Worry is an insidious, contagious, purposeless thought.

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." ~Leo Buscaglia

Don’t mistake Worry for Awareness.  They are not the same.  You can be aware of something and choose not to worry.

The question always is, “HOW?”

How do you NOT worry when it’s sitting right in front of you?

Find a different stone to pick up…find a different thought.

Look for it, and find it.  Make the decision to fill your brain with different thoughts.

Here are some ways for you to consciously change your thoughts.

Youtube

Search for laughing babies, funny animals, videos of your favourite song, comedy skits, etc.  There’s ALWAYS something on Youtube that will make you laugh.  Make sure you share whatever you find!  There’s bound to be someone in your circle of influence who needs a pick-me-up too.  What’s your favourite video on Youtube?

Music

Choose something that gets your feet and hips moving…something joyfully contagious.  Make a CD filled with your Joyful music.  Keep copies in your car, at your office, in the kitchen, the laundry room, and where ever else you can listen to music.  Get a cheap mp3 player, and keep it with you at all times.  Make it easy for you to pick it up and listen whenever you need that pickup.

Dump & Flip

This Tool is from the Joy Journal Audio Program (a 5 minute daily tool for consciously directing your thoughts for Joy).  This tool is for those really tough days when the worry gets right up in your face.

Get a piece of paper and fold it in half so you have two columns.  On the left side dump out all the crap. In point form list what’s upsetting you, frightening you, worrying you, ticking you off.  Get it all out.  By doing this you are acknowledging what is, and releasing it onto the paper.

On the right side, give each item on the left a flip.  Write it as a positive opposite.  For example, “Dealt with a miserable customer” turns into  “I get such awesome customers that are a joy to serve.”  Do this for each item on the left side of the paper.

Take the piece of paper and rip it down the middle at the fold.  Keep the right side.  This is a vision.  Fold it up and put in your pocket, or keep it where ever you wish.  Get rid of the left side.  Tear it up, or burn it.  It doesn’t matter how you do it, as long as you get rid of it.

By keeping the right side and throwing away the left you are symbolically choosing your happy thoughts and releasing the negative thoughts.

No matter what’s going on in your life, there is only one path…one stream of thoughts, and it’s yours.  No one and no thing controls which thoughts you pick up or don’t pick up other than you.  Make sure you’re looking around and not just looking at the ones that are right in front of you.  Look off to the sides, and consciously pick the ones that add to the joy of your day.

Don’t walk The Worry Path.

Dream BIG!

Velma Gallant
The Queen of JOY!
Host of Welcome Changes Radio

PS ~ The Joy Journal Audio Program will help you consciously choose your thoughts, and it only takes 5 minutes a day.  Your happiness IS worth 5 minutes a day.

PPS ~ Check out Journey Through a Course in Miracles.  These short lessons will support you to put down those heavy stones you’ve been carrying around.

I wrote this on a forum I visit often the other day.  I read it again today, and thought…Wow…that’s pretty good!  So I wanted to share it here too.

I know I’ll be rolling it around in my brain for a while.  Maybe you will too.

When’s the last time you drop kicked yourself?

Today?  Yesterday?  Last week?

It happens a lot for most of us.  We are our own worst critic.

I did it this last weekend.  I had a weekend full of celebrations, and at the very last minute…WHUMPH!

Cue thought bubble…”I can’t believe I said [...]]]>

When’s the last time you drop kicked yourself?

Today?  Yesterday?  Last week?

It happens a lot for most of us.  We are our own worst critic.

I did it this last weekend.  I had a weekend full of celebrations, and at the very last minute…WHUMPH!

Cue thought bubble…”I can’t believe I said that!” 

That’s the one that came out shortly after I said THAT.  That thought bubble drop kicked me most of the evening, and on into the night.

The thing is, everyone that was around me when I said THAT probably didn’t even hear what I made up they heard, and if they did, they likely forgot all about it within the next few minutes.  Something far more important like getting another coffee, calculating their parking fee, or the hungry grumble in their tummy, totally took over their thought waves.

We go through life championing for other people, celebrating their ups, and lovingly dusting them off when they are down.  We kiss their boo boos, wipe away their tears, list what’s great about them, and yet, when it comes to being our own best supporter, instead of a pat on the back we get a glove to the chops.

What do you do when your child or your best friend bumps up against one of these situations?  How do you treat them?  What do you give them to help them through?

How would your life change if you gave that same thing to you?  What would your life look like if you were your own best friend?

Thankfully, I only spent one evening drop kicking myself.  Once I gave myself the gift of a good night’s sleep, watched a happy movie, and went over what DID go great over that previous day, I started smiling at myself instead.  What I said wasn’t really that bad.  I just shared that I can use support and kind reminders from time to time, just like everyone else.  Who knows.  Maybe by sharing this, someone else put down their gloves and stopped the body shots.

Besides, everyone else is cheering you on.  You may as well join in the fun.

Maybe then you’ll notice that you totally rock!

Dream BIG!

Velma Gallant
The Queen of JOY!

PS ~ Juicy Bites of Welcome Changes is on sale.  Use the Coupon Code “celebrate” to get $10 off!

PPS ~ Only a couple more days to register for Dream Camp!  Camp Directors are The Queen of JOY and the Queen of Dreams, and we’re going to give you everything we’ve got to bring you off the side-lines of life, and master PLAYING Life!

PPPS ~ Come listen to Caron Goode tomorrow on Welcome Changes Radio!

There are no coincidences.  I’ve heard this time and time again.  You probably have too.  It’s okay to accept this when the “coincidence” is [...]]]>

“Everything has a purpose. There are no freaks, misfits, or accidents. There are only misunderstandings and mysteries not yet revealed to mortal man.” ~ Marlo Morgan, Mutant Message Down Under

There are no coincidences.  I’ve heard this time and time again.  You probably have too.  It’s okay to accept this when the “coincidence” is in our favour, but what if it isn’t?  What if what happened is scary or doesn’t feel good?  There is no comfort in “There are no coincidences.”

This is where I find the second part of Marlo’s quote from her book so valuable.  “…mysteries not yet revealed”.

Often we cannot see what’s on the other end of the experience.  It’s a mystery, and because we can’t see the whole story, the part we experience grows and takes on a terrifying visage.  The dust bunnies under the bed become a monster.

We think that what we don’t know can hurt us.  More often than not, what we make up hurts us more than the reality to come.

The worry creates sleepless nights, ulcers, upsets with our loved ones, body tension, headaches, and more.  Our relationships and our bodies take the hit for our over-active imagination.

We think we have no control over our thoughts.  They scream on like a run-away train on a circular track.

You do have control—more than you are aware of.  The circular track is the neuro-pathway that has burned into place through habitual thinking.  The train’s speed is the brain’s familiarity with that neuro-pathway.

There are three powerful words you can use to shift your train off the circular track it’s so familiar with. 

These three words will pull the brakes for your train, allowing you to move slowly forward onto a different track.

You may be moving into unfamiliar territory, but to be honest, your circular track is taking you nowhere, and it’s damaging your body, your emotions, and your spirit.

These three words are:

What’s the Truth?

The Truth is you don’t know what’s in the future. 

The Truth is not emotionally attached to the present facts.

The Truth is not your past either.  Memories are past facts, not present facts.

When we are riding the train on the circular track, the chances of noticing opportunities and solutions are minimal. 

It’s not until we ask “What’s the Truth” and return to the Now that we can see our next step.

The Mystery is revealed and the value received when we can surrender to the experience, be in the Now, and be open to taking the next step—one step at a time.

***

Velma Gallant, The Queen of JOY! is an author, speaker, teacher, and healer.  As the host of “Welcome Changes Radio, she has interviewed over 100 personal growth and development experts.  Between growing up, raising a family, and building her business, she’s come to the conclusion that life is a continuous series of events and transitions.  There were times when she felt lost, broken, and confused, until she realized she wasn’t defined by these events and transitions.  Velma has stopped defining herself by what she does and the events of her life, and invites you to do the same!  JOY comes from within, and has been there all along, waiting to be rediscovered.

Did you enjoy this article? If you’d like to share this in your newsletter or on your website, please let us know!  We do require all reprints to include the biography intact.

As the Thought Analysis is completed, you’ll see a type of thought that may come up [...]]]> Here comes the Judge!

You already know that your Thoughts are what create your experience.  You’ve likely already spent some time monitoring your thoughts, at the very least to find out where your attention goes most often.

As the Thought Analysis is completed, you’ll see a type of thought that may come up from time to time.

Judgment.

What is a Judgment?

This is the definition I found at Merriam-Webster.com:

Main Entry: judg·ment

Variant(s): or judge·ment \?j?j-m?nt\

Function: noun

Date: 13th century

1 a : a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion b : an opinion so pronounced
2 a : a formal decision given by a court b (1) : an obligation (as a debt) created by the decree of a court (2) : a certificate evidencing such a decree
3 a capitalized : the final judging of humankind by God b : a divine sentence or decision; specifically : a calamity held to be sent by God
4 a : the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing b : an opinion or estimate so formed
5 a : the capacity for judging : discernment b : the exercise of this capacity
6 : a proposition stating something believed or asserted

synonyms see sense

A Judgment is a strong opinion.  This opinion is often based upon our experience.  This opinion is then expressed through our Filters. 

I’ve talked about Filters many times.  Filters are how we choose to look at things, and are generally a learned response.  We have learned these responses from the important people in our life, and also from how we have interpreted an experience.  For example, when a new child is born into a family, the older child may interpret this experience as “I’m not good enough. My parents had to have a second child.”

I like to say that Judgments are Thoughts with Emotional Baggage.

This form of Judgment is often labelled as a negative thought pattern, and not of service.

I have come to learn that this is not true, at least for me.

Judgments are Sign Posts and Growing Opportunities

Our Judgments can be used as a tool, and therefore can be of service. 

When we are expressing a Judgment, it is around something that has triggered us.

All too often, Judgment spills out without another thought.  These are just missed opportunities.

When Judgment spills out and is caught, the typical reaction is to judge self as being negative and judgmental.

Rather than heading down that winding road, there is another choice.

Judgments are Growing Opportunities.

When Judgment is used as a Tool rather than a Weapon, a valuable transformation begins.

Powerful Questions

Use Powerful Questions to extract the juicy goodness from the Judgment.  Before you do, make sure you put on your Observer’s Hat.  This means setting aside your emotions for a moment.

Examples of Powerful Questions could be:

• What am I showing myself?
• Where is this showing up in my own life?
• What other facts are available to me?

Judgments may be coming forward to show us what we may be avoiding or not noticing in our own life. 

Judgments may also be inviting us to look more deeply as our opinions may change when we have more information or facts.

Activate Your Observer

Powerful Questions can activate your Observer.  This part of you is not ruled by your emotions. 

There is another side of Judgment, and it was briefly referred to in the definition above.  This is Discernment. 

Main Entry: dis·cern·ment

Pronunciation: \di-?s?rn-m?nt, -?z?rn-\

Function: noun

Date: 1586

1 : the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure : skill in discerning
2 : an act of discerning

synonyms discernment, discrimination, perception, penetration, insight, acumen mean a power to see what is not evident to the average mind. discernment stresses accuracy (as in reading character or motives or appreciating art) <the discernment to know true friends>. discrimination stresses the power to distinguish and select what is true or appropriate or excellent <the discrimination that develops through listening to a lot of great music>. perception implies quick and often sympathetic discernment (as of shades of feeling) <a novelist of keen perception into human motives>. penetration implies a searching mind that goes beyond what is obvious or superficial <lacks the penetration to see the scorn beneath their friendly smiles>. insight suggests depth of discernment coupled with understanding sympathy <a documentary providing insight into the plight of the homeless>. acumen implies characteristic penetration combined with keen practical judgment <a director of reliable box-office acumen>.

When you activate your Observer, you activate Discernment. 

When you activate Discernment, you are able to make choices from Truth rather than Emotion.

Simple but Not Easy

Using Judgment as a Tool sounds simple, and it is.  Sometimes, though, it’s not easy.

Our emotions, while valuable and important, can sometimes take off like a run-away train.  Putting on the brakes is not always easy, but it can be done.

Sometimes activating your Observer can be easier when we bring in another set of eyes.  Call on the support of a wise friend or mentor.  It does become easier over time when you practice with someone.

Remember.  Practice makes permanent.

***

Velma Gallant, The Queen of JOY! is an author, speaker, teacher, and healer.  As the host of “Welcome Changes Radio, she has interviewed over 100 personal growth and development experts.  Between growing up, raising a family, and building her business, she’s come to the conclusion that life is a continuous series of events and transitions.  There were times when she felt lost, broken, and confused, until she realized she wasn’t defined by these events and transitions.  Velma has stopped defining herself by what she does and the events of her life, and invites you to do the same!  JOY comes from within, and has been there all along, waiting to be rediscovered.

Did you enjoy this article? If you’d like to share this in your newsletter or on your website, please let us know!  We do require all reprints to include the biography intact.