Best Friends

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." – Buddha

Community is so important. It’s not the things that bring us happiness. It is our connections that bring us true happiness.

Yes, our relationship to other is a vital part of these connections, but there’s one relationship that is more important than all the others.

That essential relationship is our connection to self.

What we want from others we must give ourselves first.

The interesting thing about this is that once we give these things to ourselves, the need to receive it from others disappears. We already have what we need.

What do we often desire or believe we need from others? A few examples would be love, approval, appreciation, support, acceptance, trust and faith.

These create some of our biggest “If…then…” scenarios.

Also interesting is that we often withhold these from ourselves because others do not offer them to us.

How can I love myself? My ____ doesn’t. I must not be loveable.

In truth, no one can love you until you love yourself. It’s not the other way around. Somewhere along the way we made that up.

Whatever it is you are looking for from others, stop looking outside of you for it. Turn to yourself. Give this to yourself, and receive this from yourself.

This can be done simply. Begin asking yourself simple questions that move you in that direction.

How can I show myself love today??

How can I show myself appreciation today?

What would it take to accept myself?

What would it take to have faith in myself?

Write these questions in your journal. You may get an immediate answer, but often the answers to these questions show up when you least expect it.

It’s these small daily practices that begin the process of connecting more deeply with you.

As you connect more deeply with you, the JOY comes in. The simple things begin to hold more meaning. The connections with others grow.

JOY fills every corner of your life.

JOY fills you.


Velma Gallant, The Queen of JOY! is an author, speaker, teacher, and healer.  As the host of “Welcome Changes Radio, she has interviewed over 100 personal growth and development experts.  Between growing up, raising a family, and building her business, she’s come to the conclusion that life is a continuous series of events and transitions.  There were times when she felt lost, broken, and confused, until she realized she wasn’t defined by these events and transitions.  Velma has stopped defining herself by what she does and the events of her life, and invites you to do the same!  JOY comes from within, and has been there all along, waiting to be rediscovered.

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