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03/15/2010 Create Your Life through Your JOY Journal! Learn how!...read more
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Get Rid of Fear with 3 Powerful Words

“Everything has a purpose. There are no freaks, misfits, or accidents. There are only misunderstandings and mysteries not yet revealed to mortal man.” ~ Marlo Morgan, Mutant Message Down Under

There are no coincidences.  I’ve heard this time and time again.  You probably have too.  It’s okay to accept this when the “coincidence” is in our favour, but what if it isn’t?  What if what happened is scary or doesn’t feel good?  There is no comfort in “There are no coincidences.”

This is where I find the second part of Marlo’s quote from her book so valuable.  “…mysteries not yet revealed”.

Often we cannot see what’s on the other end of the experience.  It’s a mystery, and because we can’t see the whole story, the part we experience grows and takes on a terrifying visage.  The dust bunnies under the bed become a monster.

We think that what we don’t know can hurt us.  More often than not, what we make up hurts us more than the reality to come.

The worry creates sleepless nights, ulcers, upsets with our loved ones, body tension, headaches, and more.  Our relationships and our bodies take the hit for our over-active imagination.

We think we have no control over our thoughts.  They scream on like a run-away train on a circular track.

You do have control—more than you are aware of.  The circular track is the neuro-pathway that has burned into place through habitual thinking.  The train’s speed is the brain’s familiarity with that neuro-pathway.

There are three powerful words you can use to shift your train off the circular track it’s so familiar with. 

These three words will pull the brakes for your train, allowing you to move slowly forward onto a different track.

You may be moving into unfamiliar territory, but to be honest, your circular track is taking you nowhere, and it’s damaging your body, your emotions, and your spirit.

These three words are:

What’s the Truth?

The Truth is you don’t know what’s in the future. 

The Truth is not emotionally attached to the present facts.

The Truth is not your past either.  Memories are past facts, not present facts.

When we are riding the train on the circular track, the chances of noticing opportunities and solutions are minimal. 

It’s not until we ask “What’s the Truth” and return to the Now that we can see our next step.

The Mystery is revealed and the value received when we can surrender to the experience, be in the Now, and be open to taking the next step—one step at a time.

***

Velma Gallant, The Queen of JOY! is an author, speaker, teacher, and healer.  As the host of “Welcome Changes Radio, she has interviewed over 100 personal growth and development experts.  Between growing up, raising a family, and building her business, she’s come to the conclusion that life is a continuous series of events and transitions.  There were times when she felt lost, broken, and confused, until she realized she wasn’t defined by these events and transitions.  Velma has stopped defining herself by what she does and the events of her life, and invites you to do the same!  JOY comes from within, and has been there all along, waiting to be rediscovered.

Did you enjoy this article? If you’d like to share this in your newsletter or on your website, please let us know!  We do require all reprints to include the biography intact.

Judgments or Thoughts? Positive or Negative? Service or Disservice?

Here comes the Judge!

You already know that your Thoughts are what create your experience.  You’ve likely already spent some time monitoring your thoughts, at the very least to find out where your attention goes most often.

As the Thought Analysis is completed, you’ll see a type of thought that may come up from time to time.

Judgment.

What is a Judgment?

This is the definition I found at Merriam-Webster.com:

Main Entry: judg·ment

Variant(s): or judge·ment \?j?j-m?nt\

Function: noun

Date: 13th century

1 a : a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion b : an opinion so pronounced
2 a : a formal decision given by a court b (1) : an obligation (as a debt) created by the decree of a court (2) : a certificate evidencing such a decree
3 a capitalized : the final judging of humankind by God b : a divine sentence or decision; specifically : a calamity held to be sent by God
4 a : the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing b : an opinion or estimate so formed
5 a : the capacity for judging : discernment b : the exercise of this capacity
6 : a proposition stating something believed or asserted

synonyms see sense

A Judgment is a strong opinion.  This opinion is often based upon our experience.  This opinion is then expressed through our Filters. 

I’ve talked about Filters many times.  Filters are how we choose to look at things, and are generally a learned response.  We have learned these responses from the important people in our life, and also from how we have interpreted an experience.  For example, when a new child is born into a family, the older child may interpret this experience as “I’m not good enough. My parents had to have a second child.”

I like to say that Judgments are Thoughts with Emotional Baggage.

This form of Judgment is often labelled as a negative thought pattern, and not of service.

I have come to learn that this is not true, at least for me.

Judgments are Sign Posts and Growing Opportunities

Our Judgments can be used as a tool, and therefore can be of service. 

When we are expressing a Judgment, it is around something that has triggered us.

All too often, Judgment spills out without another thought.  These are just missed opportunities.

When Judgment spills out and is caught, the typical reaction is to judge self as being negative and judgmental.

Rather than heading down that winding road, there is another choice.

Judgments are Growing Opportunities.

When Judgment is used as a Tool rather than a Weapon, a valuable transformation begins.

Powerful Questions

Use Powerful Questions to extract the juicy goodness from the Judgment.  Before you do, make sure you put on your Observer’s Hat.  This means setting aside your emotions for a moment.

Examples of Powerful Questions could be:

  • What am I showing myself?
  • Where is this showing up in my own life?
  • What other facts are available to me?

Judgments may be coming forward to show us what we may be avoiding or not noticing in our own life. 

Judgments may also be inviting us to look more deeply as our opinions may change when we have more information or facts.

Activate Your Observer

Powerful Questions can activate your Observer.  This part of you is not ruled by your emotions. 

There is another side of Judgment, and it was briefly referred to in the definition above.  This is Discernment. 

Main Entry: dis·cern·ment

Pronunciation: \di-?s?rn-m?nt, -?z?rn-\

Function: noun

Date: 1586

1 : the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure : skill in discerning
2 : an act of discerning

synonyms discernment, discrimination, perception, penetration, insight, acumen mean a power to see what is not evident to the average mind. discernment stresses accuracy (as in reading character or motives or appreciating art) <the discernment to know true friends>. discrimination stresses the power to distinguish and select what is true or appropriate or excellent <the discrimination that develops through listening to a lot of great music>. perception implies quick and often sympathetic discernment (as of shades of feeling) <a novelist of keen perception into human motives>. penetration implies a searching mind that goes beyond what is obvious or superficial <lacks the penetration to see the scorn beneath their friendly smiles>. insight suggests depth of discernment coupled with understanding sympathy <a documentary providing insight into the plight of the homeless>. acumen implies characteristic penetration combined with keen practical judgment <a director of reliable box-office acumen>.

When you activate your Observer, you activate Discernment. 

When you activate Discernment, you are able to make choices from Truth rather than Emotion.

Simple but Not Easy

Using Judgment as a Tool sounds simple, and it is.  Sometimes, though, it’s not easy.

Our emotions, while valuable and important, can sometimes take off like a run-away train.  Putting on the brakes is not always easy, but it can be done.

Sometimes activating your Observer can be easier when we bring in another set of eyes.  Call on the support of a wise friend or mentor.  It does become easier over time when you practice with someone.

Remember.  Practice makes permanent.

***

Velma Gallant, The Queen of JOY! is an author, speaker, teacher, and healer.  As the host of “Welcome Changes Radio, she has interviewed over 100 personal growth and development experts.  Between growing up, raising a family, and building her business, she’s come to the conclusion that life is a continuous series of events and transitions.  There were times when she felt lost, broken, and confused, until she realized she wasn’t defined by these events and transitions.  Velma has stopped defining herself by what she does and the events of her life, and invites you to do the same!  JOY comes from within, and has been there all along, waiting to be rediscovered.

Did you enjoy this article? If you’d like to share this in your newsletter or on your website, please let us know!  We do require all reprints to include the biography intact.

What’s Really Cool About This Is…

We all know that stuff happens.  Unexpected things.  Things that trigger emotions of all kinds.

The thing about it is, once the event has happened, we get to choose what we do with it.

Do we have a long conversation about what’s bad about this?  Do we play the experience over and over in our mind?  Do we make a comparison list of all the similar unhappy experiences?

These ways of handling unexpected experiences are learned.  We learned by observing someone else who handled their experiences that way.

The issue with handling unexpected experiences this way is that it keeps us in the lower emotions. 

There is another way.

When something unexpected happens, and once you get over the initial surprise of the event, you can choose another line of thinking.

What if you want on a mental journey looking for ways to finish this statement?

“What’s really cool about this is…”

For example, you loose a twenty dollar bill.  Sure it sucks to be out that money, but what’s really cool about this is, that $20 is probably helping someone out who was in a real bind.  What’s really cool about this is I probably really made someone’s day.

I remember a few years ago I was heading to the airport to catch an international flight.  You’re supposed to be there a couple of hours early.  I hit every kind of traffic jam or delay there could possibly be.  I barely made it there before they closed the flight.  What was really cool about that?  The delays stopped the minute I walked into the airport.  I went through every process quickly!  Plus, because I got there at the last minute the only seats left were first class.  I paid for an economy ticket, and flew first class…all because of the traffic jams.  When I got to LA, guess which story I told?  I certainly was not reliving the traffic jam.  I was reliving the first class seat!

When you first begin playing this game, you may come up with (what you consider) lame answers, but that’s OK.  You’re practicing.  More often than not the lame answer still feel better than replaying what wasn’t cool.

Have you ever had the thought that you wish you could just turn your mind off?  That’s because replaying what’s not quite right is NOT your natural state.  Even your mind knows there’s a better way.

Our minds are one of the most powerful tools we have available.  We just need to give it better information.  It will only work with what we give it.  That’s it.  You choose the input.  What didn’t work, or, what’s cool about what didn’t work.

Here’s another analogy for you.  I you cook with rotten food, no matter how good of a cook you are, you’ll still be serving rotten food. 

Give your mind something healthy to work with, and the output will be something healthy.

There are always cool things we can discover about anything.  It can be a fun game to play, if you choose to look at it that way.

What’s cool about playing this game is that you’re taking charge of your own mind, and your own life.  The events of living are no longer leading the way…you are!

Dream BIG!

Velma Gallant
The Queen of JOY!

PS ~ Your Mind is a beautiful tool when you learn how to use all of it’s potential!  Learn more about your mind’s potential at JOY made EASY!

Seeing Rainbows in the Darkest Night

Seeing Rainbows in the Darkest Night.  It’s a special gift I have.  It’s something that I thought came naturally, but when I look back over my Journey that brought me here, it was actually a skill I developed.

It’s not something just a few people can do.  It’s something anyone can do.  Some of us have practiced so much it feels natural, like a gift or talent.

What do I mean by “Seeing Rainbows in the Darkest Night”?  Where did this come from?

A vision…one of those messages that can be lightly passed off as something made up.

I saw a rainbow in my mind’s eye, and it was in the middle of the Night Sky.  I called it “Night Sky Rainbow”.  It was really quite beautiful.  I put it to paper with my markers.  Sure it looked like a drawing I would have made as a child, but it did have the feeling.

Night Sky Rainbow.  It seemed like an oxymoron.  One of those things that just doesn’t make sense.  Rainbows in the night?  There’s no light?

Why would I see a rainbow in the night sky?

Why DO I see rainbows in my night sky?

I’ve practiced.  When I use my JOY Journal, I practice.  When I look for and find the gifts in my painful or terrifying experiences, I practice.

It’s so easy to get caught up in what’s not working.  It’s so easy to fill your vision with fear, sorrow or anger.

But what is really happening?  These Events are not meant to bring us down and grind us into the earth.  We’re being asked to look into that Night Sky, not hide our eyes.  Eventually we’ll see a little sparkle of light.  As we look deeper into that little sparkle, we’ll see the Rainbow.  Once we’ve spotted the Rainbow, we have a choice.  Do we fill our vision with the Rainbow, or do we turn back to the darkness of the night?

As we journey through life, many of the paths we walk along are covered in darkness.  These Events, these Night Sky’s, are always filled with some kind of blessing or gift, if we just look for them. 

The Rainbow will lead you there.

Dream BIG!

Velma Gallant
The Queen of JOY!

PS ~ JOY made EASY is a great place to learn the skill of Seeing Rainbows.

True Leaders are…

True leaders are those who are creating the leaders of the future!

Parents!

Sure, those who lead countries and big corporations are leaders.  There are leaders of all kinds everywhere.

The silent leaders who make the biggest difference are the Parents of the World. 

Tomorrow on Welcome Changes Radio I have the pleasure of interviewing Christine Martinello, author of “The Momager Guide: Empowering Moms to Leave a Loving Legacy”.

I’ve been reading through her book to prepare for her show.  There was an interesting tidbit in there that I bet most people never thought of!

This applies to both Moms who work outside of the home, and Moms who don’t.  Consider how much it costs to replace you?  It’s not all about the income you bring in.  It’s about your value.

When you value yourself, add in the cost of daycare, chef, concierge, chauffeur, personal shopper, housekeeper, and more. 

Don’t forget about Teacher/Trainer!  You’re training the leaders of tomorrow!

Come to our show tomorrow at 9AM PT / 12PM ET at http://welcomechangesradio.com

All Parents are welcome, including grandparents, big brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, and anyone else who takes on those nurturing roles.

Dream BIG!

Velma Gallant
The Queen of JOY!

PS ~ Leaders must lead themselves first.  http://joymadeeasy.com  Lead yourself to JOY!